"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes-and ships-and sealing-wax-
Of cabbages-and kings-
And why the sea is boiling hot-
And whether pigs have wings."

- The Walrus and the Carpenter by Lewis Carrol
(From Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Neurotic Mommy

I'm sure most new Moms feel this way.  I hope.  It makes me feel better to think that they do, so just play along.

I am constantly worrying that there is something terribly wrong with my child. 

Is this normal?

Probably the biggest worry that I obsess about is whether she's getting enough to eat.  Scott points out the adorable spare tire and double chin that she's sporting, but alas, I still worry.  She's a sleepy eater and doesn't always nurse as long as the books or doctors or the internet says she should.  But she also nurses more frequently during the day than sources say she should, so that kind of balances things out, right?  Here's the kicker - she's a great sleeper.  Why am I complaining?  What's the problem?  I know, I should be thankful.  Here's where it stems from:

In the hospital, they urged me to nurse and feed Abbey every 2 hours counting from the beginning of each feeding.  Even at night when the rest of the world is sleeping.  This is super normal.  But it was deeply ingrained into my head.  So, we continued doing this after we brought her home as instructed.  Then, we go to her 2 week well check.  At the weigh in, Abbey was 2 oz shy of her birth weight (babies can lose up to 10% of their original weight during their first few days), which was pretty darn good, but she had also grown two whole inches, which placed her lower on those tricky height/weight charts.  Usually after two weeks, the green light is given to let your baby sleep longer at night.  We didn't exactly get that.  Then again, they didn't exactly say that we have to keep waking her up to nurse, either.  So, Scott and I made the executive parental decision to let her sleep longer during the night.  And it's been great.  Never would I have thought that four consecutive hours of sleep could be so delicious, but truly, it's the Best Thing Ever.  But I feel a little guilty - like maybe I should still be waking the baby up to feed her.  Then again, Abbey is sleeping so darn peacefully it seems cruel to wake her up.  Enter my good friend: Guilt.  The guilt is amplified every time I see her suck on her hand, or show any sign of hunger.  My little brain thinks, "Oh, Irene.  You are STARVING YOUR BABY!"

Then reason - most often appearing in the form of my husband - enters the situation and says something along the lines of, "I'm sure that if the child were starving, she would let us know in the form of screaming like a banshee." 

We haven't experienced that yet. 

So, all should be good, right? 

(Someone say right.)

1 comment:

  1. Right!

    Ours was a good sleeper too, and he nursed often. I always worried he wasn't getting enough, but the lactation consultants (and I saw them a dozen times!) Said that he will eat when he's hungry. :)

    Don't worry, your baby girl is just perfect! Enjoy the sleep!! We are lucky ones to have sleepers, trust me!